GlaxoSmithKline Stress ball

From the people who brought you both Avandia and the Avandia stress ball comes, you guessed it, another stress ball. I think further commentary here would be superfluous.

Avelox First Aid Kit

A small water-resistant first aid kit from the nice people at Bayer. Unfortunately, the only things that came inside were four small Band-Aids. No Avelox, but more to the point, if you are going someplace that you need a water-resistant first aid kit, you're probably going to need more than a Band-Aid if you get hurt.

Protonix Cup

This thing is pretty cheap. It reminds me of the flimsy things beer is served in at ballparks. Certainly not in the same league as the Nexium flash drive.

Nexium Flash Drive

The closed door decision makers at my hospital recently took Protonix off the inpatient formulary and replaced it with Nexium. The cynic in me has to wonder if these nifty little flash drives had anything to do with that.

Coumadin pill container

This threw me off. Sure, a pill container is a great little advertisement, and in the quantities this rep gave them away, they are certainly not intended for physician's private use, but what floored me about this was the drug. I had never met a Coumadin rep before. Since they are basically without competition, I don't see the point. It may be rat poison, but it's the only rat poison we've got, you know?

Roche calculator

After complaining bitterly that the drug rep calculators all seemed to be battery powered, what should come along but this lovely solar-powered, modestly-sized implement. I flatter myself that I had something to do with this. But it's probably just serendipity.

Cozaar laser pointer/slide advancer.

I'm thinking this is a developing theme with the reps. First Abbott, then the pleasant people from Merck hawking Cozaar have brought these things.

Abbott laser pointer/slide advancer

This is a really cool toy. It's a combination laser pointer and slide advancer. Works quite well, and comes with extra batteries.

Cymbalta pen

This is a great pen. Heavy, smooth, maybe even a bit calming to hold. Just like the drug.

Merrem Sharpie

This is a neat little permanent marker, with a ring on one end to connect it to a lanyard. I'm not planning on actually doing that, but it definitely appeals to the gadget lover in me.

Hyzaar Reflex Hammer

Not the greatest reflex hammer. Yes, it's the classic shape, but it weighs about half as much as a regular hammer, and a person would have to be severely hyperreflexic to demonstrate any response with this thing.

Hyzaar Flash drive

From the nice folks at Merck, a neat little flash drive. I also like the fact that, saving on paper, this thing came with the promotional literature loaded on it.

Zetia Calculator

Apparently this a developing theme. Maybe the reps around here watch each other and then duplicate each other's gifts, in the odd competition that they have running. Now certainly Zetia and Levaquin are not in direct competition, but I'm much more likely to use this Zetia calculator than the Levaquin one, for a couple of reasons. One, the sides of this are rubberized, and less likely to fall out of my pocket, and two, this has an action figure component to it. Flipping a little switch on the bottom right of the Zetia logo causes a cover to swing open and behind the calculator, producing a little stand. Very cool. My continuing complaint is that there is no "off" button, and that it is not a solar calculator. But hey, if it dies, I can scavenge another battery or pass it off to someone who will.

Zetia gift bag

This is a little impressive. A nice plastic bag, full of drug rep toys: pens, calendars, articles, and invitations to dinner. And the bag isn't bad either, waterproof too. How fun.

Nexium six-pack tote

The purple pill people pulled out all the stops on this one. (And yes, that's quite enough consonance for one day.) What makes me laugh about this particular item is that the rep encouraged me to take it saying "a six-pack fits perfectly in there." This is funny because it is probable that alcohol can exacerbate dyspepsia and reflux, which is of course what Nexium treats. Drumming up business on both ends of the spectrum there. The bag itself is nice enough, but flimsy, and let's face it, a six-pack belongs in a cooler.

Nexium hand sanitizer

Another bottle of hand sanitizer. This one attempts to set itself apart by smell, with a faint grape-scent wafting through the alcohol fumes. Not earth-shattering, but useful around the hospital, and extra points added for having a smell that doesn't linger like that ghastly Merrem stuff.

Vytorin pocket protector

Now I've seen everything. As if doctors didn't have enough problems being seen as nerds, now the folks at Merck have decided that the quintessential badge of one is a great way to advertise their product. No thanks.

Levaquin calculator

Most of September was slow for drug rep visits here, but the last week made up for the drought. Here's the latest offerings.

Definitely a useful toy, as I use a calculator all the time in ICU medicine. It is battery powered, which is a bit of a detraction, but even worse, there is no "off" button. That makes it tough to think about relying on it. Still, a good idea.

Merrem pen

Merrem definitely has the best toys all around, and this is no exception. This pen is soft, rubberized material over the entire body, making it comfortable to hold, it is heavy, making it easier to control, and the ink isn't bad at all. My only complaint is that it is impossible to hide the logo, as that pocket clip makes it into a tiny billboard. Which is the point, I guess.

Cozaar calipers

Another set of calipers. This one places above the Diovan atrocity in compactness, but still below the Coreg or Zetia beauties.