Cymbalta pen

This is a great pen. Heavy, smooth, maybe even a bit calming to hold. Just like the drug.

Merrem Sharpie

This is a neat little permanent marker, with a ring on one end to connect it to a lanyard. I'm not planning on actually doing that, but it definitely appeals to the gadget lover in me.

Hyzaar Reflex Hammer

Not the greatest reflex hammer. Yes, it's the classic shape, but it weighs about half as much as a regular hammer, and a person would have to be severely hyperreflexic to demonstrate any response with this thing.

Hyzaar Flash drive

From the nice folks at Merck, a neat little flash drive. I also like the fact that, saving on paper, this thing came with the promotional literature loaded on it.

Zetia Calculator

Apparently this a developing theme. Maybe the reps around here watch each other and then duplicate each other's gifts, in the odd competition that they have running. Now certainly Zetia and Levaquin are not in direct competition, but I'm much more likely to use this Zetia calculator than the Levaquin one, for a couple of reasons. One, the sides of this are rubberized, and less likely to fall out of my pocket, and two, this has an action figure component to it. Flipping a little switch on the bottom right of the Zetia logo causes a cover to swing open and behind the calculator, producing a little stand. Very cool. My continuing complaint is that there is no "off" button, and that it is not a solar calculator. But hey, if it dies, I can scavenge another battery or pass it off to someone who will.

Zetia gift bag

This is a little impressive. A nice plastic bag, full of drug rep toys: pens, calendars, articles, and invitations to dinner. And the bag isn't bad either, waterproof too. How fun.

Nexium six-pack tote

The purple pill people pulled out all the stops on this one. (And yes, that's quite enough consonance for one day.) What makes me laugh about this particular item is that the rep encouraged me to take it saying "a six-pack fits perfectly in there." This is funny because it is probable that alcohol can exacerbate dyspepsia and reflux, which is of course what Nexium treats. Drumming up business on both ends of the spectrum there. The bag itself is nice enough, but flimsy, and let's face it, a six-pack belongs in a cooler.

Nexium hand sanitizer

Another bottle of hand sanitizer. This one attempts to set itself apart by smell, with a faint grape-scent wafting through the alcohol fumes. Not earth-shattering, but useful around the hospital, and extra points added for having a smell that doesn't linger like that ghastly Merrem stuff.

Vytorin pocket protector

Now I've seen everything. As if doctors didn't have enough problems being seen as nerds, now the folks at Merck have decided that the quintessential badge of one is a great way to advertise their product. No thanks.

Levaquin calculator

Most of September was slow for drug rep visits here, but the last week made up for the drought. Here's the latest offerings.

Definitely a useful toy, as I use a calculator all the time in ICU medicine. It is battery powered, which is a bit of a detraction, but even worse, there is no "off" button. That makes it tough to think about relying on it. Still, a good idea.

Merrem pen

Merrem definitely has the best toys all around, and this is no exception. This pen is soft, rubberized material over the entire body, making it comfortable to hold, it is heavy, making it easier to control, and the ink isn't bad at all. My only complaint is that it is impossible to hide the logo, as that pocket clip makes it into a tiny billboard. Which is the point, I guess.

Cozaar calipers

Another set of calipers. This one places above the Diovan atrocity in compactness, but still below the Coreg or Zetia beauties.

Tekturna keychain

I think this wins the "absolutely least useful" award for drug rep toys. It's lightweight, flimsy even, and adds nothing to a key chain but an advertisement. It isn't a bottle opener, magnifying glass, or penlight. It doesn't do anything. No idea what the rep wanted me to do with this.

Merrem Maglite #2

Another Merrem flashlight. This time in red. I actually asked the rep how much they were allowed to spend per gift, and she told me it's a max of $100. That still seems pretty high to me.

Avandia and Avandamet Stress Balls

It may not be clear from the pictures, but these are those plastic coated NERF-like objects sold as stress relievers. That shiny plastic doesn't really photograph well. Anyway, I don't know what this latest set of offerings means, but evidently GlaxoSmithKline wants me to associate stress with Avandia. Or maybe it is stress relief. On second thought, maybe these are really intended for the GSK execs now dealing with the fallout of the FDA panel on this drug. But the toys are kinda fun, and as a bonus, now I might have an idea what my patients mean when they refer to their pills by color and shape.

Starlix sharpie

Another clickable Sharpie. Hard to argue with a classic.

Tygacil pen

As my team was discussing the best possible treatment for a patient's infection the other day, our hospital pharmacist piped up with "the Tiger can do it." What surprised me more than her using that name was the fact that everyone knew what she was talking about. Including me. Score another for Wyeth.

VFend pen

Finally, someone at Pfizer figured out that ugly is not the new cool, and that the pre-teen female demographic that inexplicably keeps Troll dolls popular is not prescribing medicines. This VFend pen is far, far better than the previous iteration. In fact, I actually use this now, and I'm not even a Broncos fan.

Boniva pen

Another mildly hideous pen, with that extra irritating foam grip to complete the effect. Boniva is a new medicine for osteoporosis, so maybe they are targeting the grandmother-aged demographic with this color/foam combo, but it certainly isn't going to be used as a bill board by me.

Namenda pen

Another one from Namenda, and pretty functional. I'm not a fan of pens with half the body used as a clicker mechanism though, because they have a tendency to open accidentally, leaving black streaks on my nice white coat.