Nexium Flash Drive

The closed door decision makers at my hospital recently took Protonix off the inpatient formulary and replaced it with Nexium. The cynic in me has to wonder if these nifty little flash drives had anything to do with that.

Merrem Sharpie

This is a neat little permanent marker, with a ring on one end to connect it to a lanyard. I'm not planning on actually doing that, but it definitely appeals to the gadget lover in me.

Nexium six-pack tote

The purple pill people pulled out all the stops on this one. (And yes, that's quite enough consonance for one day.) What makes me laugh about this particular item is that the rep encouraged me to take it saying "a six-pack fits perfectly in there." This is funny because it is probable that alcohol can exacerbate dyspepsia and reflux, which is of course what Nexium treats. Drumming up business on both ends of the spectrum there. The bag itself is nice enough, but flimsy, and let's face it, a six-pack belongs in a cooler.

Nexium hand sanitizer

Another bottle of hand sanitizer. This one attempts to set itself apart by smell, with a faint grape-scent wafting through the alcohol fumes. Not earth-shattering, but useful around the hospital, and extra points added for having a smell that doesn't linger like that ghastly Merrem stuff.

Merrem pen

Merrem definitely has the best toys all around, and this is no exception. This pen is soft, rubberized material over the entire body, making it comfortable to hold, it is heavy, making it easier to control, and the ink isn't bad at all. My only complaint is that it is impossible to hide the logo, as that pocket clip makes it into a tiny billboard. Which is the point, I guess.

Merrem Maglite #2

Another Merrem flashlight. This time in red. I actually asked the rep how much they were allowed to spend per gift, and she told me it's a max of $100. That still seems pretty high to me.

Merrem Goggles

I think Merrem makes a wider variety of toys than any other drug I've seen. Here's the latest from them, a pair of goggles. I'm not likely to use them, but at least this toy has its uses in the hospital, and the logo is unobtrusive.

Merrem/Diprivan stethoscope light

This drug rep toy is a great idea, but the reality is disappointing. It's a tiny light that clips onto one's stethoscope. There are two problems with the design. One, the fit is not as tight as it might be, and that rattling distracts from using a stethoscope for its intended purpose. The second is that the light is an LED, and therefore has a bluish cast to it, which makes it ok for checking the optic and occulomotor nerves, but makes looking at the back of a patient's throat difficult, as everything is a different color. Reluctantly, I'm putting this one in the "might have been good" category.

Merrem hand sanitizer

Merrem gives out a lot of stuff. Previously I received their Mag-Lite, and now, less audacious, but probably more useful in daily life, is this spray-on hand sanitizer. The problem is, this does not smell nice as all, one of those sickly sweet, "I'm trying too hard to make you love me" smells. If I wanted that, I'd go to Bath and Body Works.

Crestor pen

Crestor spends a lot of money on television ads. I guess that's why their pens are so crappy. This one skips like a bunch of third graders playing hopscotch. And lest you think that was a sampling error, I have four others exactly like it, and none of them work well. If drug reps are trying to influence prescribing choices with their gifts, this one is definitely backfiring.

Merrem Maglite

This is far and away the coolest drug rep toy yet. And it has almost no use in my medical practice, since I haven't ever yet needed a flashlight in the hospital.